When Your Parents Don’t Understand Why You’re Going to Counseling
By Lavender Haven Counseling
For many people, the decision to begin counseling is deeply personal — a brave step toward healing, understanding, and self-growth. But what happens when the people you love most, like your parents, don’t understand it — or worse, question why you’re even going?
You might hear comments like:
“Why do you need therapy? We didn’t have that growing up.”
“Can’t you just talk to your friends?”
“You seem fine — what’s there to talk about?”
If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Generational, cultural, or personal beliefs often shape how people view mental health and counseling. For some, therapy still carries a stigma, or it may feel like a reflection that something is “wrong” with the family — when in reality, it’s often an act of self-awareness and courage.
🌿 Why They Might Not Understand
It’s important to remember that your parents’ discomfort or confusion isn’t necessarily about you — it’s often about their own relationship with vulnerability, emotions, or change.
They may have grown up in a time or environment where emotions weren’t discussed openly.
They might equate therapy with crisis rather than growth.
They could even feel guilt or fear that your healing means they “failed” somehow as parents.
Understanding this doesn’t excuse hurtful reactions, but it can help you approach the situation with empathy rather than shame.
💬 How to Communicate Your Decision
When you talk to your parents about therapy, it can help to stay grounded in your own truth rather than trying to convince them to see it your way. Here are a few ways to frame the conversation:
Keep it simple and clear:
“I’ve been feeling ready to focus on my mental and emotional health, and counseling is something that’s been helping me do that.”
Focus on growth, not blame:
“Therapy is helping me understand myself better — it’s not about blaming anyone.”
Set emotional boundaries:
You don’t owe anyone the details of what you discuss in therapy. It’s okay to say:“I appreciate your concern, but this is something I’m doing for myself.”
🌼 Coping When They Don’t Support You
Even with the best communication, your parents might still not “get it.” That can feel lonely — especially when all you want is understanding. Here are a few ways to cope:
Affirm your choice. You’re allowed to seek healing, even if others don’t understand it.
Find support elsewhere. Whether through friends, your therapist, or chosen family, seek connection with people who validate your growth.
Release the need for approval. Healing sometimes means letting go of needing others to validate what’s right for you.
Focus on your why. Revisit what led you to therapy in the first place — your peace, clarity, and self-worth.
🌷 A Note from Lavender Haven Counseling
At Lavender Haven Counseling, we know that choosing therapy can be both empowering and emotional — especially when those around you don’t see the value yet. Our hope is that you continue to trust yourself and your process. You’re not doing something “wrong” by seeking help — you’re doing something deeply right.
Healing often starts with the decision to choose yourself — even when others don’t understand why.
